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Monday, June 21, 2010

Informal lessons

Bismillahi walhamdulillah...

Being at home, i just hate to make myself useless. For the time being, i learn to develope something for my own good. Usually i will get to learn from my teachers, lecturers, mentors, murabbis, perents... but at home, i tried to use all the source to learn something for my further living. Also living at home, making me ashamed of myself. I'm healthy, I have qualification, I have self-confidence, fast-learner, yet i receive source of living from my parents. Argh, is this the real life? Being unofficially graduated, I feel very comfortable to be with my parents and brothers at home, their warm love and protection... but i have to make my own living!! (sigh)

I watched a historical drama recently. It was set during the Joseon century of Korea. The title was Dong Yi, a mere maid who later become someone very important in the palace. Not long ago, I watched just like this show, called Dae Jang Geum (Malaysian Chinese called Jewel In The Palace). Dae Jang Geum was also a mere lowborn class woman who later become Korean's first woman to be the king's doctor and the first doctor who performed Caesarian for woman in labour. Maybe many of us know that during that century, women were treated badly, as they don't have their own right to rise up their voices, or receive proper lessons from schools like the men did. But yes, Dae Jang Geum and Dong Yi struggled their life at that time. Their story were just the same, but the way they face their life challenge was quite different and their spirit really moved those who watched these shows.

Me, from a little girl until now, i just can't stop myself from reading books and watching TV shows about a lady who succeed their life although they were earlier a weak being, but then woke up from their low life to become 'someone very important' in history. I've watched how Hua Mulan being the first lady general of China, Queen Seon Deok the first powerful lady king of Shilla (South Korea), Ja Myung the smart princess of Naknang Korea who built a big drum for her country to avoid enemy attack from Goguryeo but later the drum was teared by her own sister for her stupidity. Also Dae Jang Geum, and Dong Yi. And now i can say that most of the courage and strength to face challenge in life I've developed by learning from them. But that doesn't meant that i pushed aside all the Islamic history!

I remember a conversation between Dong Yi at 10 years old, her brother Dong Ju and their father after Dong Yi did something pleasant...

Dong Ju : You saw a dead person and you won't scared?
Dong Yi : I've seen abouji (father) performed autopsies so many times. And I read those books too! (books about autopsies)
Dong Ju : You're so fearless! Father, our Dong Yi is too fearless for her own good. This little flip of girl beat a boy! She sure is something!
Dong Yi : Why should i not be able to do something just because I'm a girl? I use my brain!
Father : You're absolutely right. Who cares if you're a boy or girl as long as you're talented?

Well, i wrote this because for me, we can learn from everything around us. Maybe here i feel secure because I have my parents who will protect and comfort me everytime i feel insecure or lost my self-confidence. But at 'that place', who will do it for them? I have to live on my own although I have those sisters around me, but that won't do. Everything can change even for only one second. But I have to make my own living! How long am i going to cling on somebody's shoulder? Honestly I do feel scared, but remembering Allah will always with us, my heart somehow feel at ease... Subhanallah.

Making your own living after graduating is not an easy thing to do. You have to be strong enough, especially when you plan to do business, not working under any company or government sectors. It's very hard for me to make this decision. But if others can make it, why not me? Just pour out what you have...

I'm lately reading a management book entitle "Strategic Management and Business Policy" by Wheelen Hunger. Such a thick and heavy book, but because my dad gave me this, i have to go through one page by one page. Showing gratitude for my dad's concern =)

Pening..pening... but really pray for 'it' to work out succesfully... Ameen..